Monday, 17 April 2017

Workshop Survival Kit

I sold these back in 2010, if there is enough demand I'll restock them (please use the comments section to declare an interest or request a custom made badge).  Previously, the first badge on the list sold out completely the first day they went on sale.

The Training Workshop Survival Kit!
Badges for seminar/training/workshop attendees:
  • "Fuck off, I Don't Want a Hug!"
  • "I Attend Workshops."
  • "I Have Trained More Than you Have."
  • "I Am One Of The In-Crowd."
  • "Smug, Pious and Proud."
  • "7-Day Expert."
  • "...and who did YOU train with, Hmmm?"
  • "I deeply and completely accept myself, now fuck off!"
  • "Training Workshop Junkie."
  • "Wannabe Guru."
  • "I Talk Others Walk."
These will be available from The Fresh Brain Company, priced at £8.40 for a selection of any five badges. Others will be added soon.

Other products I am considering adding to the range include:
  • Branded spittle wipes to deal with the moist trauma of all those group hugs and air kisses.
  • A big shitty stick to beat off those fellow attendees stuck at the "How specifically?" phase.
  • "The Whoopee Glee" (TM).  Set to automatic mode, The Whoopee Glee (TM) emits enthusiastic whoops of joy at variable random intervals.  
  • The NLP Laughtastic 6000 (TM). Similar to the Whoopee Glee, this item is calibrated automatically to be able to emit the right type of laugh to fit in with the in-crowd in any live training situation.
  • "The Grinnatron Joy Mask" (TM).  The Grinnatron Joy Mask (TM) can be worn safely for up to 24 hours in a single session.  Now it is possible to grin all day without risk of facial injury or being asked about your limiting beliefs.
  • The Self Catheterisation Kit.  Useful for those workshops where the trainer gets a bit too carried away and forgets that the mortals need to do normal things like take bathroom breaks.

No comments:

Post a Comment